Formspring, in response

What's up?

I guess I'm caught up in the air of what I'd like to think is a dead season. Haven't spent much time out lately, things have been pretty boring to be perfectly honest. Looking forward to writing music with the rest of Love In Athens on the 30th, that should be good. I might also want to look for a good amp in the meantime.

Bumalik ka na sa Tumblr. Please? IMY. by bobmama

Man, as much as gusto ko talagang bumalik dun I think microblogging's gotten the best of me far too many times for comfort. Naglulurk parin ako sa tumblr pero I don't post na. It breaks my heart every time I go there. Malamang sa malamang, di ako babalik sa tumblr. PERO PERO PERO, babalik naman ako sa Manila real soon so yeah. :)

How easy are you?

Let's just say life would be easier if I were easier.

Why Maria?

Is this a follow up to a previous question or are you asking me about my name? Well if it's about my name, my mother thought it would be appropriate to add Maria to my first name on the grounds of being a living tribute to the Virgin Mary. Being the little heathen I am, you could see how that worked out. Haha :P One thing we discovered when I was twelve, btw. My father chose to name me Francisco after my great grandfather, turns out his wife's name was Maria rin so yeah. Francisco Maria, great grandson of Francisco and Maria Jimenez.

Why punk rock?

Well, it's just something I got myself into. It's a pretty messy story but at least based on whatever notion I have of what punk rock is, I'm thankful I have a piece of that with me. I wouldn't have been the same without it for whatever reason. I guess it was because of punk rock that I sought to have a direction in life. I may not be dirt poor or dress in crusty-ass clothes but I'd like to think I know who I am, where I want to be and how I'd like to get there well enough. Regardless of what people say, I'd like to have my heart in the way I live. That's pretty punk rock in itself I guess.

Hey Francis! Why are you so awkward?

More often than not, when I'm put on the spot I have absolutely no idea what to say or do. This is mostly due to the fact that I never run out of situations I've never experienced before. A lot of times, I space out trying to make a moral judgment of things and end up freezing mid-thought when I realize how long it's taking me to think. Honestly though, I'm really bad at this. If you've met me in person, you'd know just how awkward I get. Sometimes its funny, sometimes it's just plain sad. Either way, I'm not that ashamed of being awkward. I'd like to enjoy being awkward while I still have the capacity to because somewhere along the way I'm bound hit that "been there, done that" snag and learn to be cool with things.

In your friends list, who would you: 1. fuck, 2. marry, 3. kill?

Tough question. I don't think I'd like to fuck around with anyone who'd be able to trace me through my facebook profile or any of the other profiles I have floating around the internet. I'm just too visible. Okay if it's casual sex, I'm biased but I guess only with people I've slept with before. Who would I marry? Well, that's if a balance is struck between my measured attraction towards a prospective partner and that individual's attraction towards me; factoring in possible benefits and downsides to partner selection of course. I don't really see anyone I'd want to marry and I think that's partly because I'm young and I see myself single at 33. I'd like to be proven wrong though. As for people I'd like to kill, I wouldn't want to kill anyone. There are better ways to deal with people and I wouldn't want my feelings to get in the way even if I felt strongly for it. Besides, if I harbored a deep-seated disdain for you would I even have you in my friends list?

How vain are you?

Vain. Just a little bit. More than that, I'm just lonely so I end up spending more time on myself than I usually would if I were with other people.

If you could, would you choose to live forever ?

The proposition is appealing but honestly, I don't think living would make much sense if I lost that sense of impermanence. Part of what makes life meaningful is the thought that this would all be over soon; a particular urgency that drives you to self-determine the nature of your own existence. I guess I'm just not built to live forever with that point of view, I'm not willing to compromise that either.

Do you believe in ghosts?

I believe in science, I'm not writing the possibility off and in fact I lean towards that persuasion but if they do exist then there's got to be a scientific explanation. I tend to believe that ghosts are traces of spent energy but whatever, I'm talking out of my ass here.

Do you use photoshop vintage color actions on your photos?

Actually no, I just use that fix photos feature that goes with Windows Photo Gallery. It saves a lot of time and ram. The actual photos taken usually look close to that since I have my camera set to "jaundice vision" all the time. I just lessen the saturation and increase the color intensity and contrast in the finished product.

WHY SO HATEFUL???

MY BLOOD BOILS WITH MY SEETHING DISCONTENT! SO HATEFUL! If you have to know, it's an in-joke between Mia and I. Long story, longer than most of the answers I've typed in here. Well yeah, that's basically it. The cliff's notes version, at least.

How lonely are you when you're alone?

Lonely enough to start a blog in hopes of keeping my memories company; lonely enough for things like art (both its creation and consumption) if I may put it bluntly. Other than that, I guess I'm just as lonely as lonely usually gets. Nothing special or anything, it's just something I end up feeling because there's no one else to talk to late at night and that yearning just adds to the general ennui. I don't really have a gauge as to the extent of my loneliness but I do know I feel that way often.