Yeah, I know. I told myself I'd update this thing as much as I could in an effort to prevent it from dying out like every other blog I started since time immemorial. It's sad how I haven't been posting much and I guess it's gotten to the point where I just had to step in and say something. Seeing as how I've been trying to work on a set format, tone and style for my entries apart from the amount of time I spend looking for things to write about in the first place, it's clear that I Don't Want To Miss You Anymore isn't going to the proverbial blogger's graveyard as of yet. What I seem to lack in frequency as of the moment, I hope to make up in terms of substance.
The past few weeks have been a mixed bag of odds and ends and I couldn't stress that further. Emotionally, I've been everything over the course of my blogging downtime. I've been happy, sad, lonely, content, hopeful, disappointed, completely sure and incredibly uncertain at various points. With all of that happening at the same time, I'm surprised I'm not the least bit overwhelmed. I'm as spastic and as nervous as I've ever been but I guess there's just some things people learn to live with and the inconsistencies of human emotion are definitely among them. I'll touch on that later, though. In normal people news, I've been going to class for a bit over a month now and whereas my schedules took me a bit of getting used to, I think I'll be just fine. Exams this week though, so I guess I'd have to double my effort for the meantime. This anti-stress approach I'm taking has been working in my favor so far but I'm afraid I have to repeatedly ensure that I keep myself in check lest I cook myself in the oil of my own complacency.
Most of my school friends are full-fledged seniors now; took me long enough to realize that. Well, 5 years in college isn't too bad but when you're in the figurative limbo that is irregular student status, you can't help but be a little jealous. Makes me wonder, what the lot of them have in mind for themselves after college. During my down time I ran into someone named Joey and speaking with her about life, love, travel and living got me thinking about what my plans are after graduating. I'm notoriously known for coming up with great plans that I start but never finish. After everything I've been through since 2009 rolled in, the whole idea of not getting any younger has gotten strikingly clear. I can't be that way forever and I'm sick of being that way. I want to finish what I start and I want something I can aspire for and attain. Here's the plan as follows:
The past few weeks have been a mixed bag of odds and ends and I couldn't stress that further. Emotionally, I've been everything over the course of my blogging downtime. I've been happy, sad, lonely, content, hopeful, disappointed, completely sure and incredibly uncertain at various points. With all of that happening at the same time, I'm surprised I'm not the least bit overwhelmed. I'm as spastic and as nervous as I've ever been but I guess there's just some things people learn to live with and the inconsistencies of human emotion are definitely among them. I'll touch on that later, though. In normal people news, I've been going to class for a bit over a month now and whereas my schedules took me a bit of getting used to, I think I'll be just fine. Exams this week though, so I guess I'd have to double my effort for the meantime. This anti-stress approach I'm taking has been working in my favor so far but I'm afraid I have to repeatedly ensure that I keep myself in check lest I cook myself in the oil of my own complacency.
Most of my school friends are full-fledged seniors now; took me long enough to realize that. Well, 5 years in college isn't too bad but when you're in the figurative limbo that is irregular student status, you can't help but be a little jealous. Makes me wonder, what the lot of them have in mind for themselves after college. During my down time I ran into someone named Joey and speaking with her about life, love, travel and living got me thinking about what my plans are after graduating. I'm notoriously known for coming up with great plans that I start but never finish. After everything I've been through since 2009 rolled in, the whole idea of not getting any younger has gotten strikingly clear. I can't be that way forever and I'm sick of being that way. I want to finish what I start and I want something I can aspire for and attain. Here's the plan as follows:
- Graduate with a bachelor's degree in psychology
- Move to Manila, familiarize self with the general area
- Get a job, work for a few years and save some money
- Review for the foreign service exam
- Take up my masters in International Studies
- Take (and pass) the foreign service exam
- Work in foreign service
- Take a break and take up my PhD in Political Psychology
- Live the rest of my life
- Write a book
- Change the world
- Maybe fall in love
Truth be told, whereas I'm the kind who'd want to get himself in trouble just to see what happens; I'm the last person to ever want to jump into the pits of uncertainty. I'm as messy and disorganized as the next guy but the course of my life is something I find uncompromisable. My passions direct me towards far-away shores, carrying the scent of home, the romance of travel and a childlike fear of an ever-changing future. I guess if it's worth mentioning, I want to make a good life for myself; something that works with me and my passions. Art, culture, life, love and living are things I could say I live for. There will never be a perfect occupation for all of those but with the line of work I expect, it at least comes close and I know it would be something I could definitely learn from and at the same time sustain myself and the people I love and care for as well.
I guess I want to seek out whatever beauty the world has to offer me. Should I play my cards right, I'd be able to give that beauty back to the world. It doesn't hurt to dream but hey, that's me and we all need something to believe in and strive for. Anyway, this is entry is starting to get a little drawn-out and disorganized. I should provide a short recap for whatever everyone missed while I was away.
HAIR AND HOSPITAL FOOD
My hair has been the longest it has been since the history of ever. That isn't too long, really but it just amuses me seeing my hair all the way down my neck, almost to my shoulders. I took this picture on the day Caitlyn Bailey got back together and started practicing again after a short hiatus brought upon us by a few lineup changes and Paeng's summer escapade in Los Banos. My mom was hospitalized around this time, turns out she had some viral infection somewhere in her lungs. She's recovering now though. Still can't touch her until Wednesday though. Til then, I miss you, mother! I'm sorry for being an annoying little prick most of the time.
LOVE, LOVE, LET'S GET FUCKED UP!
A lot of my closest friends have been hooking up lately and I am proud to say I've been supporting them since day one; Pie with Gabby and Mimi with Lloyd among others. Some have taken this the right way, Gabby for example possibly contributing some pictures for the next Love In Athens release. (hint, hint!) Reactions have been mixed though and I swear to god Lloyd hates my guts and bugs the shit out of Mimi asking her why we have to be close and stuff like that. Oh well, I think I mentioned that most of my college friends are in senior year now. You already know what I have to say. This picture was taken on the day of the SSE Sportsfest up in Ateneo's sports complex over at the Matina campus.
QUIET HEARTS FOR A QUIET START
My hair has been long and shaggy for the longest time and well, I thought it was about time for a breath of fresh air. A few select individuals have expressed a desire to have me sport short hair on the grounds of it being neater and more appropriate for my supposed youthful exuberance. Two and two together, it made sense and I'm happy with the way my hair turned out a haircut and a half later. I took myself out on a date when I took this, by the way. The newly-renovated Blugre looks amazing now.
BLACK OUT THE OLD PAGES, REWRITE THEM BRAND NEW
As stated earlier, my band is back. We played an incredibly violent set over at Dart Station and gave the kids something to remember in the form of ace getting hit in the face with a flying blue Mustang. Paris went to this show and tripped in a puddle of pee; ended up borrowing my Napalm Death shirt too. Shit was so cash.
ANSCHLUSS
The weather's been surprisingly cool lately. It's been raining more often and I must say it's been no less than breathtaking waking up to find rain falling outside your window for the past few days. I love it when the weather's cool and windy with the occasional rains. More layers to wear!
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY
"I love the way you make me laugh, you're not like anyone." Seriously, Joey that Soft Pillow Kisses song is awesome. That line pretty much nails it, though. I don't really know where it's coming from but I'm pretty sure nobody I'd ever end up meeting could ever be like you. It's not that far off and I'm looking forward to seeing you this October. I owe you a lot of food and movies so you better be ready by then! Honestly though, I know you're not just anyone and I won't let you be everyone else. Now, let's grow old and cynical together somewhere with a foreign tongue and three-layer wardrobes. I'm looking forward to seeing more of my twin/soulmate/life partner in the near future. Now let's get the fuck out of here!
IN THE MEANTIME
Well, that's basically everything I've been up to lately. For any details I may have missed, it's probably not much. For my folks, I miss you guys. For my friends, I'm glad we're friends and I'm glad we're only getting closer. Now it's time for me to get some sleep.
Odds and ends:
- I HAVE ENNUI!
- Caitlyn Bailey is currently writing a full-length
- Sir Batican is my new rolemodel.
- Denise Madrazo will give you apples when you're sick.
- Joey, you're not like anyone.
- Tinay owes the whole band chef's hats.
- I was totally shit-faced the other week.
- Laura, Kevin and everyone else you guys are fucking awesome.
- Nics, I have a lot to say and I can only ever say it in person. I'm sorry.
- Twister fries, ice cream, pizza, sappy romantic movies and dinner in October.
- We're getting the hell out of here.
- Mia's moving to Japan this August.
- Camille Nierra's young adult friction.
- Coffee Cat is a pretty cool place.
- The new Blugre is just as awesome. Talk about a new lease on life.
- I'm moving to Aberdeen. Yes, as in Tomi Uysingco Aberdeen.
- I am going to sleep now.
- Goodnight.
- Oral Fixation mints are fucking awesome.
