Distances for real

There used to be a time when I'd get letters in the mail and I'd send some stuff back and forth. I missed those. Not so much the person I used to send them to but how it felt back then. No regrets. Looking back at these things, I only see how beautiful love could be and how quickly people change. I wasn't alive before this and now that this whole thing came and went, I could sort of see things in a new light. It was good, but well I want something new. I need something new to a certain degree. Until then, here's something that popped up when looking for resources for a project in social psychology class.

April 16, '08.

Pilit nating pinipigil ang hilahil na nagpupumilit pumasok sa ating mga diwa. Ngunit sa kabila nito, malimit na pumapasok ang sari-saring imahe, mga mapapait na gunita. Sa kabila ng mga ngiti, taimtim tayong nagdarasal, tahimik na humihiyaw sa kalawakan na tumagal ang mga sandaling ito. Ngunit kalaunan, naging parang mga bulang sabay sabay nawala. At ngayon, umiikot ang ating mundo- pinagdugtongdugtong ng mga kurdon at antena. "Konting tiis na lang", parehas nating nasambit.

I took a leaf from your book!

How cheesy can we get, sending each other cards and letters via LBC.

Six months- we're halfway to our anniversary, love! One time, Tin exclaimed, "Four months? Parang ang tagal niyo na" when I told her how long we've been together two months ago. Most of the time, I feel that way. The distance and the longing might be the reason we're both hanging by a thread. We're both struggling to make this work but the minute I get a glimpse of your face, it's totally worth it. Like the time I went to Davao, the moment I saw you, my self control was to put to a test (I tried my best not to pounce on you, since your mom was there.) I miss seeing you before I go to sleep, when I wake up, or after you shower.

When I got back to manila, it was terrible. Well, you know how it was. Waking up, half-expecting that you would be beside me. Every morning, my eyes were extremely swollen because I cried my eyes out the night before. Talking to you, didn't help either because I'd cr more. I wasn't focused. I had to be realistic, I had to face the fact that this is how it goes, or else I'd go nuts.

The distance is unbearable, mainly because I really want you to be a part of my life, as much as I like to be a part of yours. Literally. I want us to be together before you go to class or eat together as much as we want to or if something really funny happens we could share it together or if I was feeling really sucky that day I could just hug you and I'd be okay. I just want to be with you, get to know you more, do stuff with you that you can't do in cyberworld.

Maybe God wants to lengthen my patience, that's why he decided that we should be together. Either that or he just wants me to be happy.

I just want you to know that I think about you everyday. I constantly wonder what you're doing. Most of the time, I try to think what it would be like if I was there.

My life is full of uncertanities, doubts and changes. What we have is the only permanent thing I have. My plans and decisions were short term. I have never been more certain in my life until now.

Happy monthsary,
I love you, Francis.