Earlier in the week when I posted this I thought I'd end up having to type in an incredibly dense block of text just to explain how hazy things have been. I guess that isn't the case now so I'll be incredibly brief with this entry.
I've been too caught up thinking about things like where I stand now and the things I've gotten myself into since as far back as I could remember. Yes, it's one of those times where I end up getting myself deeper into it than I usually do so I don't have to do much explaining. Sounds like a mess, and well it sort of is but that's not half of it. I found a series of old pictures from the nineties up in the attic while boxing stuff up; the above picture belonging to the aforementioned set. From the looks of it, it was my 3rd birthday, placing the picture sometime in November of 1992. Apart from the fact that my father and I sort of look the same from that angle (in reference to my current display picture), I rarely see myself looking that, I dunno, alive? I guess Freud was right in saying there's always something in youth that we'd like to come back to. Seeing all of these old pictures make me want to return to that sense of innocent joy what I've been hinting at for so long.
Trying to sort things out, I guess the search for serenity I've constantly spoken of for months would amount to the kid in me wanting to come out and keep me company. I've just been too busy to give the kid a chance.
Maybe I should try living in the 90s for a change just so I could see if I deserve to live in the here and now.
I've been too caught up thinking about things like where I stand now and the things I've gotten myself into since as far back as I could remember. Yes, it's one of those times where I end up getting myself deeper into it than I usually do so I don't have to do much explaining. Sounds like a mess, and well it sort of is but that's not half of it. I found a series of old pictures from the nineties up in the attic while boxing stuff up; the above picture belonging to the aforementioned set. From the looks of it, it was my 3rd birthday, placing the picture sometime in November of 1992. Apart from the fact that my father and I sort of look the same from that angle (in reference to my current display picture), I rarely see myself looking that, I dunno, alive? I guess Freud was right in saying there's always something in youth that we'd like to come back to. Seeing all of these old pictures make me want to return to that sense of innocent joy what I've been hinting at for so long.
Trying to sort things out, I guess the search for serenity I've constantly spoken of for months would amount to the kid in me wanting to come out and keep me company. I've just been too busy to give the kid a chance.
Maybe I should try living in the 90s for a change just so I could see if I deserve to live in the here and now.
No comments:
Post a Comment