Homesick and happy to be here

This is one of those days where I just can't put a finger on the way I feel. Hell, this whole week, month or year has been off save for summer and the month of June. Regardless of how mixed things are in regards to my feelings and how to manage them, one thing's for certain and it's that all this has to stop someday. Weeks ago, I got started on a closure list, trying to systematically work my way through all the names there as they are representative of issues I need to address. I've only crossed two names out so far, but at least it's a start. I just wish I had the time to write them all off in one go so I could go peacefully.

Sometimes, you just seek closure from so many people for just as many reasons. More often than not, the anxiety that drives you to seek that very same closure only becomes as huge a beast as it does because it piles up over the years. In some instances this could take years to form and even longer to undo. Each person I have issues with is representative of a certain part of myself that I wish to improve or build upon. Hopefully, as this drags on I'd probably make something better of myself.

I think I owe it myself to try and be happy again. It's just frustrating how I almost get there only to get derailed in half the time.

Whoever it is holding those parts of me back, please let me go. I have to leave now. Some place out there needs me. I want things to be good when I get there.