Sunday, May 17, 2009

I like you better with your trousers around your ankles

"You swear you know, perhaps you do; it could be true but you don't react like me."
The Sea Urchins- Pristine Christine


SLEEPING WITH GHOSTS



I guess it feels like I lost a bit more of my stake in humanity by feeling threatened by things beyond my physical grasp and subsequent emotional field. It's probably from setting my standards too high and spending too much time on the internet, really. Anything good that comes my way in regards to people almost becomes a matter of life and death and this is no exception. I would probably run out of words to say and a face to show after she reads half of the entries on this blog. It's only two weeks till then and from there on, I'll let incidentality take care of the rest.

I went out earlier in the evening; told my mom I needed a breather and then I was off. It's been a stressful week at school and I absolutely hate how unproductive I've become; the whole "he/she's back!" scenario Mimi and I were talking about earlier doesn't help either. I drove off around 9:00pm and headed straight for Jack's Ridge. Now, everybody knows how much of a sucker I am for the traces people leave behind. I went around, taking pictures with my SLR as i came and went. When I finished my roll, I ended up having coffee at that coffee shop right next to the stairs. I sat there listening to Aberdeen the whole time while sipping on that (Caitlyn) Bailey's coffee blend I ordered. I was picturing out where the piano used to be and how at some point, someone I'd actually end up liking used to be in that same room playing to her friends. That's the reason I went there, really. Just to feel that little trace of her she left behind. I was retracing steps, wondering where she once tread. Is it wrong for me to do so? Is this making me look like a complete idiot acting like some hopeless romantic driving into the sunset in the name of chasing daylight?

I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what to make of it but hey, I'll take things as they come and go. This blog was about taking risks, living, loving and moving forward. Whatever happens, no regrets.

Afterwards, I headed to Blugre Landco to have a few beers for the same reason I went to Jack's Ridge earlier. Went home after finishing a couple of bottles, so yeah. It was a long day; a long, slow winding day. I only hope I could last till next week. Then, I could rest but only after facing the music. It IS next Sunday after all.

Oh well. At least I tried. Don't hate me for this. For whatever it's worth, you helped me feel like my life had meaning. I don't even have to explain how anymore, you did what you did. The rest is all up to you. I could only keep hoping amidst the odds.



P.S.

The blog title's from an Aberdeen song, Clouds Like These.

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