A YEAR SPENT IN PASSINGwe only have the rest of our lives
- Home is where the heart is; I am always home.
- Let's make plans and pretend that we're smart.
- We've only just begun to live.
Honestly put, I've always had the heart of a transient. I don't know if it has something to do with my fear of being/staying confined to the same sights, sounds, faces and names or whatever but I always had the tendency to make things up as they come along; never really establishing good long-term relationships with people in general. Does it make sense saying I'm fairly sociable AND withdrawn? I sure hope it does. It surely feels that way. Friendships have always been a source of both great highs and bouts of great perennial despair; I think it's like that with everyone, just more so for me I guess since I definitely don't want to be as distant from people as I've continually been in the past. Friendships don't have to be perfect and they don't have to be good all of the time. Hell, sometimes people have the absolute worst foot forward for anything remotely related to human relations; the bottom line though is we've only ever gotten as much as we want to get and in the end it's all up to us to make sense of it.
Summer has been sort of an eye opening experience for me. Probably not on the level of Paeng spending his summer in Laguna or Mia's volunteer work in Compostela Valley but still significant nonetheless. I guess in my great need to digest the world in bulk, I've carelessly forgotten to pay attention to the subtleties of life and living. That way, summer has blessed me with a lot of things; healing from the pain of loss, a new set of beautiful tomorrows with friends I know would last me a lifetime, the opportunity to branch out into more diverse circles of people and even the thought of loving again. School hasn't been it's best, but I could safely say that I learned more this summer in and out of school than I have in previous years. Hanging out with Dianne, Carlo, Mimi, Lawrence and so many wonderful people left a lasting impression on me and for once made me hopeful that in all my eccentricities, I was never really alone. It would've been easy for me to try and overcompensate and pay lip service a few months ago. I was a real bad wreck. The way things went however helped me get back on my feet just as fast and hey, I'm here and I'm stable. Not the stability I used to know, rather something more concrete; something I can depend on and something I have to take care of. Everyone takes people their own fair share of a lifetime to try and make sense of how to live with other people and whereas I started really late, I'm confident that I'll be just fine. I know we don't have that much in common but I love each and every single one of you. I don't know where to start and I don't know how to say it but yeah, I do.
I used to believe in taking things one day at a time and somewhere along the line I lost track of that. Within the past few months, I've gotten closer and closer to that part of me and now I'm learning to embrace it again. Summer is slowly coming to an end but these beautiful memories will always remain with me.
Thank you everyone. My friends, my mom and especially YOU for making the whole world lovely again.
Summer has been sort of an eye opening experience for me. Probably not on the level of Paeng spending his summer in Laguna or Mia's volunteer work in Compostela Valley but still significant nonetheless. I guess in my great need to digest the world in bulk, I've carelessly forgotten to pay attention to the subtleties of life and living. That way, summer has blessed me with a lot of things; healing from the pain of loss, a new set of beautiful tomorrows with friends I know would last me a lifetime, the opportunity to branch out into more diverse circles of people and even the thought of loving again. School hasn't been it's best, but I could safely say that I learned more this summer in and out of school than I have in previous years. Hanging out with Dianne, Carlo, Mimi, Lawrence and so many wonderful people left a lasting impression on me and for once made me hopeful that in all my eccentricities, I was never really alone. It would've been easy for me to try and overcompensate and pay lip service a few months ago. I was a real bad wreck. The way things went however helped me get back on my feet just as fast and hey, I'm here and I'm stable. Not the stability I used to know, rather something more concrete; something I can depend on and something I have to take care of. Everyone takes people their own fair share of a lifetime to try and make sense of how to live with other people and whereas I started really late, I'm confident that I'll be just fine. I know we don't have that much in common but I love each and every single one of you. I don't know where to start and I don't know how to say it but yeah, I do.
I used to believe in taking things one day at a time and somewhere along the line I lost track of that. Within the past few months, I've gotten closer and closer to that part of me and now I'm learning to embrace it again. Summer is slowly coming to an end but these beautiful memories will always remain with me.
"I'll see you next summer. I know we'll still be together."
Apple Orchard- Last Summer's Love Affair
Apple Orchard- Last Summer's Love Affair
No comments:
Post a Comment